It was quiet a feverish time in the studio today, I’m trying to make everything that is in my head, it seems the simplest response. I’m stressed because I want to be making MA worthy work again. I’m carrying the voices of imagined peers and imagined criticisms. ‘Everyone disapproves of my use of time and resources’. The power of our imaginations - I’m using my powers for evil not good. SO my response is to try and just make everything that I currently have in my head, just dump it all out because at least I am being productive and hopefully I can free up my thinking into more productive paths.
I managed to finish the last joint on the draw paddle, it still pains me that they are not well executed. I hate that the cuts are tatty - it really bothers me …like alot…it needles away inside my head. But I just don’t have the time to be fussy right now, I need to make everything that I am seeing, feeling. I am also hoping that out of this pushh will come work that really interests me. I am getting a little bored of just making paddles they aren’t talking enough for my liking.
I make a number of hasty pieces putting ,materials together to ask what they might say. I fabricate another peg, this is a self indulgent exercise as I get some kind of pleasure from making them, I like putting the leather and the wood togeher. It does leave the question to what purpose, what are their purpose? What do they hold? But then that’s maybe useful, pegs are my markers, simple and impermanent the temporarily can hold onto something or mark it’s place.
I’ve also had two lumps of tarmac sitting around the studio, that I’ve not known what to do, but today they got bound up in some leather I had left on my bench to provoke something to be made. Again led by the materials I tried to find something that they were happy with. It’s become some sort of sling or hammer, again I bashed it out, no measuring or marking. Photographing it on the old wood felt right, the placement and reference to an older history. I like the idea if ignoring chronological time. Anachrony. Derrida’s hauntology comes into play. I like that the sculpture has history in it’s materials. It’s lived two lives already;
Life 1. The Raw Material, the evolution/ life span of the wood, leather and tar, is one life time that has passed.
Life 2. The Given Purpose, The draws, the pavement, the garment. The material exists in an assigned purpose.
Now it exists in a third and yet still retains the previous histories, lives, they are still present and palpable.
I’m close to finishing the Holly Jointed Paddle, I just need to peg the blade sections. I drill the wood and have already bunted on bit and broken another. The holly is tough, I respect it for that, it again gives character to my materials for me and it’s important that I listen to them. Also in looking through my sketch book I notice a detail I had forgotten to add. I must upload my drawings as they carry important details and noters that I often forget and I don’t often look back through and read everything.